[The Wiliest]

I’m sitting here in my cubicle and I can still smell the residual chlorine and coppertone on my jeans from Saturday. As we peeled off our bathing suits in the sweltering parking lot filled to capacity, i tried my hardest not to touch the truck parked next to mine. One false move and my skin would fry like fatty bacon on the nearby steaming metal.

Ok, maybe not fry, but it would leave a mark for sure.

As i unfolded my change of clothes, I realized that i forgot to bring a pair of underwear.

Damn.

Just “freeball” he said.

I’m in my twenties and I have yet to go commando. It has always seemed uncomfortable, improper, or unsanitary at the very least.

I stood there in contemplation. I guess i didn’t have much of a choice. The thought of nothing partitioning my privates and the rugged edges of the back of the zipper worried me, but i was definitely not going to spend the rest of the day in that itchy netting lining my swimsuit. What is that even for, anyway?

I jumped into my jeans and finished dressing. Across the way a young girl began to cry as her mother slathered more sunscreen on her already rosy nose and cheeks.

I’m wearing underwear today.

I think I might take them off during my lunch.